Journal of mein Jahr im Ausland.
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Saturday, October 31, 2009
2:55PM
Well for a couple of days i've been feeling rough - but i didn't think too much of it... then yesterday i went to the doctor and was told that i have some sort of viral infection so that's why i feel like crap. He's given me so awful tasting droplet things and some pills to help my headache but i feel completely drained. So since yesterday i've been sleeping, and doing as little as possible. Its amazing what pleasure i've found in re-reading old books and watching DVDs.... although my tv remote has now stopped working.
One of the things that i've been able to think about - is next year. I made a pledge to a friend of mine that next year i'll go to a new place everytime i want to make a journey (e.g. nothing where you've been before). I've been making a list a here's a list so far:
- America (Summer)
- Prague
- Russia (Moscow or St Petersburg)
- Japan (Hiroshima)
- Poland (Lodz and Warsaw)
- Portugal
- Greece
I'll start my year in Ireland but instead of visiting family, i'll be in Northern Ireland with some friends (i've never been further north than Dublin!).
So... where else could i go? Either on a short weekend trip or for something like a week? Requirements: needs to have something to do (i.e. not just a beach).
Apart from that - i think that i will be moving flats -into a friend's WG, but i first need to understand my contract and its not as easy as you think (contractual german...*phish*,
So how is everyone else?
Friday, October 16, 2009
10:39PM
I know.
I've been bad and havent updated for ages. Life's hectic - thats about the most of it ;)
Things that i've like seen...
"Sometimes life throws you lemons and you need to make lemonade rather than sucking on the acid."
by Gabriel García Márquez
"An exquisite woman is not the one at whose feet lie more men, but rather a woman who has only one man who makes her truly happy.
A beautiful woman is not the youngest woman, nor the thinnest, nor has the clearest skin or eye-catching hair... it is the woman, who with just one smile and some good advice, can brighten your world.
A valuable woman is not the one who has more titles nor academic degrees, she is the one who would sacrifice her dream to make others happy.
An exquisite woman is not the most passionate one, but rather the one that quivers when making love only to the man whom she loves.
An interesting woman is not the one who is flattered when admired for her beauty and elegance but rather the woman who is firm of character and can say, "No."
And a man, an exquisite man, is one who values a woman like this."
I'll update more... on a personal thread.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Time. Something that we all need, all crave and have too little of.
I want more.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Anger is a stupid thing - very irrational. I am ANGRY. That was hard enough to say - but i am. I'm angry at the guy that broke my leg - i'm angry at not being able to play football and do sports - i'm angry at everything.
I know that i shouldnt be and that its not good for me - but it's hard not to. I'm so angry that i cant say anything because i work with the guy - so can hardly start dissing him - it wouldnt be work ethically friendly - but still - i am so annoyed. Do you know how much it costs to break your leg if you have health insurance? You'd think that it'd all be covered - but its not. You need to pay for crutches, the cast/boot that you wear, the costs of seeing a doctor every quarter, physio payments per appointment, lost earnings from working (well that doesnt count for me as we have flexi hours but still). It adds up and its not like i'm made of money - its cost me a total of nearly 400€ to sort out my leg - and thats just up to today - not like the total cost of the leg.
I hate that i have to wear this boot, i hate that i feel like this and most of all i'm frustrated that it takes me so long to do things. My colleagues have noted that i appear stressed lately - and its not just due to the fact that i have more work its due to the thing that is on my leg - they know that i cant walk as fast as them - so i therefore have to leave 10minutes before them to be able to walk at my pace...but no - they keep me talking until 5 minutes before the meeting is due to start so that i have to rush - its just not fair - but whenever i say anything i seem to get this cloud over of eyes.... like i'm making something out of nothing.
It hurts and i'm fed up with it. Fed up and annoyed and angry.
Rant over/
Saturday, May 30, 2009
This week has gone by so quickly that i'm actually wondering if its really happened! Work has been busy but i've enjoyed the buzz. I helped organise a babyshower for my old boss (who's now close to popping a baby out a few weeks from now!) - it was really nice to spend time with some people again!
My foot/leg is having its good and bad days lately. On Thursday it actually hurt more than when i did it! I have no idea why but it was such a pain having to go back to 2 crutches again! I'm trying to be come completely independent from them. I cannot wait to be completely rid of them!
My parents went to the funeral of a close friend of the family and i wish that i could have gone there (due to airline prices it was impossible). I'm not sure if i'm getting that regular homesickness or i'm just fed up with certain things at the moment - like my leg, like having to rely on people whenever i need something - its silly!
I'm going for a bike ride tomorrow with some people from work- i'm really looking forward to that (yay for cycling and bbq's).
I need to drink more coffee and head to the supermarkt - so i'll catch up with you all soon!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
11:59AM
Here is my attempt at an update. I apologise - my life is not that interesting at the moment!
- My leg.
The main thing that occupies my mind at the moment. I've been to see doctors and they're waiting to see how time does it work. I've been in some pain the past couple of days but i'm trying to put everything in perspective a little bit. I was at the gym yesterday and Monday and managed to do some exercise but i cant do anything that i'd really like or for such a duration.
- Work.
I wish that i could be more descriptive about work but its all a little weird. People are not too happy about whole the restructuring was done and although i'm safe (for now?), i still feel a little put off... especially when i found out that someone i trusted has been bitching about things behind our backs.
- Lara.
Still continues to test me... i dont seem to be able to do much right with her at the moment. I've had to lock her out at night because she takes too much of a fancy towards my boot (ok...tries to attack it but nevermind).... so then when i lock her out she starts ripping at the wallpaper, breaking glasses in the kitchen....all things for attention and all things that get me frustrated.
Apart from that - i survive. I wish i could put it more than that! A friend of mine is dealing with some crap at the moment and i feel a little helpless in the entire situation. Its one of those things where you look at things and think "what would i do?" and then realise no matter what you would do - this is really a life changing situation for them.... hmmm..... time's are - a- changing.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
6:41PM
The more i think about things - the more i realise that they make no sense. I cant remember who said that - but its certainly true.
So - whats the update? I've got a broken fibula - thats the bone on the back of your leg.... and i've pulled/broken (aufgerissen auf deutsch) all my ligaments in the ankle. It hurts.... i had a check up yesterday and today its kinda the storm after the calm.
40 Secrets About You.
Be honest no matter what.
[One] Who was your last 4 texts from? (Who WERE they from?)
Nicola, Manu, Dad, Mark
[Two] Where was your default picture taken?
At my leaving party
[Three] What's your middle name(s)?
Jane
[Four] Your current relationship status?
Single
[Five] Does your crush like you back?
I dont know. He's hard to read
[Six] What is your current mood?
Tired but peaceful
[Seven] What's your mum's maiden name?
Powlesland
[Eight] What colour shirt are you wearing?
green and white
[Nine] Are you horny?
Not at the moment
[Ten] If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
Yes, i'd not do some of the things i've done
[Eleven] Where was the last place out of town, that you went to?
Leverkusen to work
[Twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
No, that i remember
[Thirteen] Something you do a lot?
Commute to work
[Fourteen] Do you have a fondness for gnomes?
No.
[Fifteen] Who can you tell anything to?
My cat.
[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Elle
[Seventeen] When was the last time you cried?
This week
[Eighteen] Where are you right now?
At home
[Nineteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?
power to read minds
[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
Eyes and smile
[Twenty-one] Who is your favourite celebrity train wreck?
Britney
[Twenty-two] What is a theory that you believe?
UFOs
[Twenty-three] Favorite colour?
Purple.
[Twenty-four] What is one thing that annoys you on TV?
Adverts
[Twenty-five] do you still like kiddy movies?
Definitely
[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
White wine...
[Twenty-seven] Do you speak any other language?
German and basics of french. croatian and spanish.
[Twenty-eight] What's your favorite smell?
Shower smell
[Twenty-nine] Describe your life in one word?
good
[Thirty] Have any tattoos?
No comment
[Thirty-One] What are you looking forward to the most?
my shower this evening
[Thirty-Two] what are you thinking about?
Packing for work tomorrow
[Thirty-three] What should you be doing?
Nothing, its sunday
[Thirty-four] Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
My boss at work but for completely stupid reasons.
[Thirty-five] What are you listening to?
Friends in the background
[Thirty-six] Do you like working in the yard?
I dont have one...i live in a flat
[Thirty-seven] If you could have any last name in the world, what would it be?
Something original but easy to spell
[Thirty-eight] Do you act differently around the person you like?
I try to be funny, witty and charming...probably doesnt work
[Thirty-nine] What is your natural hair color?
Red
[Forty] Why did you cry last time?
See 17.
Friday, April 3, 2009
3:33PM
Apologies for the mellow sounding post... but sometimes I just wish things werent as hard as they are.
Any time tomorrow I will lie and say I'm fine
I'll say yes when I mean no
And any time tomorrow
The sun will cease to shine
There's a shadowman who told me so
Any time tomorrow the rain will play a part
Of a play I used to know
Like no other
Used to know it all by heart
But a shadowman inside has let it go
Oh no, let go of my hand
Oh no, not now I'm down, my friend
You came to me anew
Or was it me who came to you
Shadowman
Any time tomorrow a part of me will die
And a new one will be born
Any time tomorrow
I'll get sick of asking why
Sick of all the darkness I have worn
Any time tomorrow
I will try to do what's right
Making sense of all I can
Any time tomorrow
I'll pretend to see the light
I just might
Shadowman
Oh here's the sun again
Isn't it appealing to recline
Get blinded and to go into the light again
Doesn't it make you sad
To see so much love denied
See nothing but a shadowman inside
Oh, if you're coming down to rescue me
Now would be perfect
Please, if you're coming down to rescue me
Now would be perfect
Sunday, March 29, 2009
11:44AM
100. Do you have any nicknames? Em, emmy,
99. What curse word do you use the most? Probably shit
98. Do you own an iPod? yes and i'm addicted to it.
97. What time is your alarm clock set for? depends what i'm doing - for work its normally 5.30/6am.
96. What was the last restaurant you ate at? Grunsatt in d'dorf
95. Do you wear flip-flops even when it's cold outside? Yes...
94. Where do you buy your groceries from? Rewe or Kaisers
93. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? take pictures
92. What was the last movie you watched? Twilight.
91. Where do you live? Cologne.
90. If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy? Lol - i'd help out some people and then book a round the world trip.
89. Has anyone ever called you lazy? I dont think that word and me could be in the same sentence
88. When was the last time someone hit on you? Lol - yesterday in the supermarket.
87. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Dont know, dont particulary care.
86. Did you watch cartoons as a child? Yeah, tom and jerry, moomins....
85. How many siblings do you have? 1 Bro.
84. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt? Last week - thanks to Manu i believe.
83. What movie do you know every line to? I dont anymore...
82. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive? Probably.
81. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Yesterday - we made a fort and i fell asleep watching movies.
80. Did/do you ever get in trouble for talking in class? Yeah...i need to finish a conversation - why cant they see that?!
79. How did your parents pick your name? A close family friend.
78. Would you ever sky dive? God yes!
77. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? side normally.
76. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? pass.
75. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? You imply that i've watched star wars...
74. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do? Sometimes, depends what its about.
73. Do you think you're attractive? i have my good and bad days
72. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? as long as both sides agree to it.
71. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat? Sometimes... i dont really eat *that* much meat anyway...
70. Do you own any fish and if you do, are they docile or aggressive? No fish...
69. Do you prefer wooden or mechanical pencils? wooden
68. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines? Only people at work.
67. What is your current relationship status? Thats for me to know and you to never find out.
66. Honestly, does your crush like you back? Whats your definition of like?
65. What is your current mood? tired
64. Who do you love most? my family
63. Do you make your bed every morning? yes - it MUST be made.
62. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be? I'd change some of the things i said
61. If you have to be an animal for one day- what would you be? Dolphin or an elephant
60. What’s your favorite sport? Badminton or running.
59. Name a bad habit of yours: Ability to not say "no"
58. What's the name of the song that's currently stuck in your head? Milow - Ayo Technology.
57. What languages do you speak? English, German bit of Croatian
56. Have you ever been in a fight? Play or real?
55. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? yeah and really enjoyed it
54. What turns you on? Funny
53. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Ask me when i next step foot into that branded chain of crap.
52. Which is your favorite season? spring
51. What was the title of the last book you finished reading? Breaking Dawn.
50. Do you tan or burn in the sun? I burn
49. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes
48. Can you stand your parents? Yeah - we're too similar.
47. Who do you miss the most? My nephew at the moment.
46. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Sophie.
45. What's your favorite smell? Fresh bread
44. Do you think there’s life on other planets? Yes
43. Do you have any pets? I have a cat called Lara
42. What’s your zodiac sign? Aquarius
41. Which shoes have you worn today? slippers
40. Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke
39. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? Yes
38. Who can’t hide things from you? Most people
37. Who can’t you hide things from? Most people
36. Do you get over it or get even? i usually forget and get over it - depends what it is. There's only one grudge that i have and i'm biding my time on that one.
35. How many people can you trust with your life? handful.
34. When was the last time you ran into something?This morning
33. What’s your ethnicity? English?
32. Do you enjoy going through the car wash? Nope, scares me
31. Are you running out of your favorite perfume? Yes!
30. Are you currently craving something? coffee
29. Do you enjoy embarrassing your friends? kinda
28. Where do you usually sit when you’re at the cinema? back middle
27. Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? fork all the way
26. Could you perform CPR if necessary? Yeah
25. Have you ever kept a stray animal? i have adopted one.
24. Do you have any plans for Friday? I think so
23. Are you afraid of clowns? YES
22. Who are you thinking about right now? Lots of people
21. Is there something that can always make you feel better? Hugs
20. Is there someone that can always make you feel better? Not sure about that one
19. Do you play air guitar? Nope
18. What was the last song you heard? Chasing Cars - Sarah Bettens
17. Have you ever said you were in love with someone and not meant it? Nope.
16. What is the most addicting website on the internet in your opinion? Facebook...
15. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes
14. Does anyone disgust you? A little
13. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine
12. Are you taking any medicines right now? Yes
11. What's the connection between yourself and the last person you texted? I think it was Lee to tell him he owed me a cocktail bar.
10. Would you rather be famous for being a talented photographer, musician, actor/actress, writer or athlete? probably photographer or athlete
9. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yes.
8. Do you have any reoccurring dreams or nightmares? a couple
7. Is it raining outside? Yes
6. Have you ever been in a pair of handcuffs? Yes.
5. Do you hate to lose? Yes
4. Do you listen to country music? Yes
3. How do you want to change the world? World peace
2. You’ve filled out 99 questions because? Its sunday and i'm waiting for the rain to stop so i can go for a run.
1. Pick a word that begins with the first letter of your first name: Excellent!
Tag as many people as you want and see what their answers are
Sunday, March 8, 2009
8:15PM
It's your turn. Please copy this to your notes when finished, tag me and others.
1. My ex... is my ex for a reason.
2. Maybe I should... do my german homework and get ready for work tomorrow
3. I love... my family
4. People would say that I am... weird
5. I don't understand... why bad things happen to good people
6. When I wake up in the morning... I will have to sort out the cat before i get ready for work
7. I trust... too much
8. Life is full of... a box of chocolates?
9. My past taught me... that you can change things.
10. I get annoyed when... people lie or are generally sneaky... oh and also when my cat hides and i cant find her...
11. Parties are... fun when the right people are there.
12. I wish... that Lara would come out from wherever she is hiding... and that the world would sort itself out.
13. Dogs... are great and i wish i wasnt allergic to them
14. Cats... are cool
15. Tomorrow is... Monday... start of another week
16. I have a low tolerance for... bullshit
17. If I had a million dollars... I would make sure that my family were provided for.
18. I'm totally terrified of... not being a success
19. When I look at the night sky I think...somethings out there.
20. If I could be anyone i would be... me
Next one...
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks!
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you'd like to. Then see what happens.
Kissed anyone of your facebook friends? Yes
Been arrested? No
Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? No
Fallen asleep at work/school? No
Held a snake? yes
Ran a red light? Yes, (by accident)
Been suspended from school? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? No
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? no
Broken a bone? Yes (kinda)
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? No
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No - Que?
Been in a band? No
Shot a gun? No
Tripped on mushrooms? No
Donated Blood? No
Eaten alligator meat? Yes
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? Yes
Think about the future? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes
Made love in an unconventional location? Yes
Talk in your sleep? Yes
Laughed until you peed your pants? No
Passed gas on an elevator with others? No
Spend too much time on facebook? YES
Play a musical instrument? Yes
Lived outside of the country? yes
Been skinny dipping? No
Gone sky diving? No
Dated someone longer than you should have? Yes
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
1. Put your iPod (itunes) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Nothing but you.
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Goldrapper
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Slowdance on the inside
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
I like to move it
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
One jump ahead
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Good girl gone bad (oh dear..)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Superman
WHAT IS 2+2?
She takes her clothes off
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Northern skies
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Endlich ein grund zur panik
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Whatever (i had a dream)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Ich schlafe ein
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Make this go on forever
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Iris
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Dream Catch me
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Warning Sign
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Trust me
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Break the ice
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
If you're not scared
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I eat dinner (when the hungers gone)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Wont get fooled again
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Lady is a vamp
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Little devotional
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Grafton Street
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Stuck in the middle with you
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Apologise
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Chiquitita
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Phonography
Sunday, February 15, 2009
1:28PM
Whats your full name?
Emily Jane Hannon
Which one of these are you? {Punk, Prep, Goth, Freak, Gangsta, Emo, Nerd, Geek}
None
How tall are you?
5ft 7
What's your favorite color?
Orange or purple
What's your favorite band/singer?
Too many to list... stereophonics are up there
What's your favorite radio station?
Germany: BFBS or 1Live
UK: Virgin
What's your favorite type of shoes?
Boots
What's your favorite stores to shop at?
Humanic or Zara
What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
Fafalel Salam
What's your favorite fancy restaurant?
Place in London
What's your favorite type of food?
Fruit
What's your favorite drink?
Coffee or ACE juice
What's your favorite subject in school?
German
What's your favorite movie?
Too many to count
Do people misspell your name?
Not too much, Emily gets misspelt all the time, same as Hannon in german.. apparently it should be hennen or haennen.
If so, first or last name?
See above
How do they misspell (or mispronounce) it?
Both
Would you name your child the same name as you?
God no
Have you ever smoked?
Smoked what?
Told off a teacher?
Yes many times and many times in jest
Told off your parents?
Not really
Had surgery? {If so, why?}
Yeah. nose
Got beaten up?
Noone's been silly enough
Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed unless i have washing drying over the doors
Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Of course, they're great for the gym
Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I would say in
Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Depends on your definition of a street sign... we borrowed one from a funeral directors
Do you like to use post-it notes?
I LOVE THEM
Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Yeah
Do you have freckles?
Yes...
Do you always smile for pictures?
I cant smile in pictures - i look weird
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Liars and people keeping things from me
Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Occasionally. When i walk, i'm more to be found singing
Have you ever peed in the woods?
Of course. I'm a runner - what do you expect?
Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Of course
Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Yes
What size is your bed?
double
What is your Song of the week?
No clue
Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
I think it looks nice
Do you still watch cartoons?
yup!
Whats your least favorite movie?
cant remember it was that bad
What do you drink with dinner?
Wine or water
What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
ketchup!!
What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
How to lose a guy in 10 days, top hat etc
Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Nope
Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yes, many time
Ran out of gas?
very very nearly!
Favorite kind of sandwich?
Cheese and branston pickle
Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Toast
What is your usual bedtime?
Depends. Anywhere between 11 and 4
Are you lazy?
Nope
Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
No,
Are you stubborn?
When its something i believe in
Ever watch soap operas?
Yes! currently addicted to GZSZ!
Afraid of heights?
Kinda
Sing in the car?
Of course
Dance in the shower?
Nope
Dance in the car?
Nope
Ever used a gun?
On a playstation
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
At School?
Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Love them
Is Christmas stressful?
Depends
Favorite type of fruit pie?
Apple and blackcurrent
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Doctor or teacher
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
yes
Take a vitamin daily?
Zinc
Wear slippers?
I'm in Germany - it'll be a mortal sin if i didnt
Wear a bath robe?
yeh - its mint coloured
What do you wear to bed?
Whatever i find.... normally a long tshirt
First concert?
Stereophonics i think
Nike or Adidas?
Adidas if i'm pushed
Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Pumpkin seeds please
Ever take dance lessons?
Nope
Can you curl your tongue?
yup!
Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Nope
Own any record albums?
Yeah, Beatles
Own a record player?
IN the UK yes
Regularly burn incense?
Yes
Who would you like to see in concert?
Not sure
What was the last concert you saw?
Newton Faulkner
Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot.
Can you swim well?
yeah.
Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Who cant?
Are you patient?
Depends, i try to be
Ever won a contest?
Yeah a couple of times
Ever have plastic surgery?
Well... i had to have the inside of nose reconstructed from polyps...does that count?.
Which are better black or green olives?
NEITHER
Can you knit or crochet?
I'd like to be able to
Best room for a fireplace?
Living room.
Do you want to get married?
I dont know
When was the last time you ran?
this morning
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
Not yet
What are you dreading right now?
Next week
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
Depends... last night i got 12
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would you do?
Depends who they were...
Do you own a pair of Converse?
no
8:57AM
I wish i could update more about whats been happening lately but i just feel that everything lately has gone by in a huge blur. My Birthday came and went in quite an unspectacular fashion. Dont get me wrong, i had a lovely day with my colleagues but there was just something missing. I dont know exactly what it is but i'm sure that i'll find out.
Work is work. Still the same and i'm still enjoying it.
But other things lately have been occupying my mind. I've been feeling so drained lately that i've been feeling like i dont know whether i'm coming or going. I spoke to a friend about this and she replied that for the last 6/7 weekends i've been constantly entertaining people and not being able to rest.... so that could be a reason why i feel so on edge all the time. Coupled in with this, i wont have any rest for the next couple of months for a reason that i cant go into on here. My dads' always said to me that i'm not a person to burn the candle at both ends, so i can kinda see why i'm so tired and why little things upset me, but still - i thought that it would have been easier for me to handle than it is now.
Karnival is coming up and i'll have two friends over (another reason why i cant rest...) and as much as i'm looking forward to it.. i'm really not. I'm not comfortable with my outfit (due to the expected cold, the outfit itself and my general crappy feeling), and i'm also not happy with staying out in the cold, drinking when i dont have the money/energy to drink and basically i just cant be bothered with it. I know that i have to think positive and try and think of the positives of this wonderful event, but i just wish that i could use the excuse to either be at work and be happy and/or stay at home and chill out - something which i have not been able to do.
I do honestly hate feeling like this. I want to feel my normal perky self but its so hard when i just cant find the energy to do it. The only time that i am happy is when i'm at the gym and i'm working some adrenaline.... and thats the best energy i can kinda use.
So, i apologise for the down sounding post, and i hope to make this alter itself soon!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Just because... if you feel like doing it...then join in!
1) I really like to work... as in I take pleasure from working hard and for long hours. I get frustrated and annoyed if i'm not doing something.
2)I love the gym - as in i'd be happy to work out every day... i also think i'm addicted to the adrenaline buzz.
3) I obsess about my weight all the time and really do think i'm fat.
4) I cant remember the last time i said i love you (to someone other than my family) and truly meant it.
5) I have a fear that i'll end up alone surrounded by cats or other animals.
6) I'm very proud of where i've come from and what i've achieved up to now.
7) I'm actually annoyed that i'm allergic to my dog and that my allergies affect me as much as they do.
8) I have an addiction to coffee and am not afraid to admit it.
9) I get homesick more than i'd like to.
10) Before i die, i want to run at least 5 marathons.
11) I'm scared that those closest to me will die.
12) I have severe issues with liars and once my trust is lost, its lost forever.
13) I'm stupidly strong for a girl.
14) I worry how much i'm becoming like my mum and we're not even in the same country.
15) I love raw vegetables... carrots, cauliflower, cabbage - the lot.
16) I'd love to give blood but they wont accept me.
17) I want to get a cat and call it Pedro Mazda.
18) I'm kinda worried how much like an adult i really am....
19) I love Father Ted and Friends... and quote them on a daily basis.
20) I can remember numbers really easily and can never forget them
21) I like mornings and am very much a morning person
22) I dont like drinking and have never taken drugs and never intend to.
23) I'm appalled at how bad a housewife i am... i'm not a good cook and i cant sow to save my life... its one thing i'd really love to change.
24) I've let the wrong people into my life and have paid for it dearly.
25) I'm a lot more selfish than i used to be and am happier for it.
Proper update shall come after this weekend ;)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
7:40PM
I really wish that i could describe in more detail the week thats just happened but it fails to strike me as anything other than normal! I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks, on Thursday Nicola will be coming to visit for the weekend whilst she's here on business, then we have Ollie's leaving party on Friday and then the weekend after i have some old colleagues from the Hub (where i used to work) coming over, then its my birthday, then the weekend after i'll either be doing some celebrating in Germany or going to the UK... the only thing thats stopping me from coming to the UK, is that Lufthansa doesnt accept my maestro card.... damn them and their visa preferences!
I've been trying to keep to my healthy eating regime and overally its been good. I've had a couple of weak points (like last nights dinner.... i really craved chicken nuggets, so i bought some... and i ensured that it was quality chicken so it wasnt that bad... but i could have been better!
Today i helped a colleague move house which was really tiring! I kinda considered it a free gym workout ;) but nevertheless at the moment my knees feel detached from my body! Tomorrow i'm going to go for a run with a friend of mine in an effort to stay on track and then i'm going ice skating with some people from work. I organised a little trip together because i've always wanted to ice skate in cologne (and even on the aachnerweihe) it was a little strange being so outside and skating!
On the work front - i have my NEW Business cards! YES, i can give you my business card and be all professional :P It looks really cool and i'm secretly quite proud of them - its the sticker in the coffin that i'm no longer a student and am a proper grown up... feels strange to be saying that! I feel i should be having more responsibility or something like that ;) I'm really enjoying my job and whats coming along with it. This week i went to visit our software supplier in Karlsruhe and spent the day talking german and it felt natural. It was a quite strange feeling - i could just switch and feel quite happy about doing it so easily and calmly (without having a little bit of a brain delay if you know what i mean). Then today i was made a little bit of a novelty because i was constantly talking german and then a family asked me just to talk english to their children... and it was so hard to switch back - i was so comfortable in my german "skin". I got the biggest compliment off my colleagues father in law - "your german is very good... are you sure you're english? ;))". I felt quite happy about that... and they were all so nice about it - i felt quite the little accomplished german speaker! (how sad is that... but i suppose its the little things that make it complete).
I saw Twilight last weekend and have to say that i can see why theres hype about the whole thing... but i just couldnt help but feel a little buffy-cheated. I'm (or i was) a huge fan of buffy and angel and i just feel that this twilight thing is just ripping it off - especially the film, there are some occasions in the film where i could tell you the same scene that was done in Buffy several years ago. I dont know if the books are any better/different, but seeing as i'm not prepared to read them in german (my current german reading is der Spiegel or Finanztest) i'll have to wait to see if i can get hold of them from the UK.
So, i'll be off to nurse my sore muscles and think of sorting out my flat. Hope everyone is ok xx
Sunday, January 18, 2009
So... i've been thinking a lot about Karma lately. What goes around, comes around. But what does this really mean? If you act with good intentions then it'll always bring good things around to you? What about if you do things in good faith and to help but they're taken wrongly... what does that mean?
Hmm.. the tribulations that exist. Apart from that, this week has been quite good. I've been eating healthy and did some good gym sessions (including one gym class which near on killed me ;)). I went for a run today and played badminton which i've really enjoyed. I'm going to look into some "hobbyklub" in cologne where i can play and get better.
Hmm... what else? Work is going well and i'm doing well - i still feel a little over my head but this week i'll be going to my first offsite meeting, so i hope my business cards arrive on time!
I need to go and do some domestic goddess stuff.... xx
Saturday, January 10, 2009
.....SPOILERS....
This movie should have been called "organ donation and why you should do it"... but i guess that that title wouldnt have been so catchy as the english (or the german "sieben leben"). You're not told why the story is like it is until the very end and its a bit of a shock when you do realise why this movie is like it is. Its not a movie for everyone...and i dont even think its a movie for me to be honest. I came out of this movie wanting to cry - and also being completely and utterly convinced that Organ donation is the only way to go once i'm gone.
Do you realise that your body can help nearly 70 people.... 70 people can be saved by one person. Its not just the heart, liver, lungs, intestines etc, its other things like tissue and skin for burns victims, veins, corneas... there's so much that could be used. I know that i'm always trying to help people whilst i'm here...but i just think - how much goodness could people get from this little body of mine.
The movie itself is a little weirdly shot (the camera angles i mean)...but the story is well written and it tends to leave a lot to the end...which although a little frustrating you can see why they do it like that. Its about a guy called Tim, who after making a mess of his life killing 7 people (including his wife) whilst using his blackberry whilst driving, tried to make amends by using his body to give organs or things to 7 well deserving people, a woman that needs a liver, his brother who needs a lung - that kinda thing. Throughout the movie i was thinking.... ok - i see why he's doing this but at the end it hit me - its not just about saving lives here - its about awareness. Making people aware how good organ donation really is. I'm not saying that we should all go and commit suicide here - what i'm saying is that we should stop looking at the stigma associated with organ donation and focus on the positive aspects. My parents have known my wishes for a while..... but i honestly just told them- "i wont be in that body... give it to people that use it and live their lives".
Apologies for the rather strange post...but i am feeling... a little strange today.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
So, its been the start of a new year and a new week back at work. Its also "new" because i officially started my position as "Specialist, Project Office". Basically i got a promotion and some security! woo! This week has been slow because its the first week and not everyone is back..in fact most people wont be back until next week so its an excuse to do all those little tasks you put off when everyone else is there and its busier.
I'm generally feeling a lot more positive and happy about things. Theres still a lot thats concerning me in the UK - and every time i talk to my dad another thing seems to come up which worries me even more. But i know that i cant do anything about it - and i suppose being away is a sort of comfort - because whilst i'm actually there i get more and more frustrated about what i cant do - whereas when i'm here i know that i cant do anything so its somewhat easier.
I'm trying to work out when i can come back to the UK next. Its difficult because of cashflow and trying to find the time. I was hoping to come back for my birthday but it looks to be nearer the end of February/early march i think. There always seems to be something at the moment.
On other notes, i am very proud of myself. I've been at the gym twice already this week and will be going again tomorrow morning (bit *whoop*. I'm really enjoying it this week - even if the class and gym session yesterday worked me hard! I've tried to be better with my eating this week and i've been doing well, if not brilliantly. I just need to focus on the long term goals...
The weather here has made news recently. It was -20 this week and you could really feel it. Admittedly i do like the cold - just not the ice. Yesterday whilst i was walking home i saw that the Aachnerweihe was covered in ice and there were people ice skating on it. It was the first time i've ever seen that - or seen people really using sleighs etc. It was very cool! I even joined in for a little bit (ok, i played like a kid for over an hour... *cough*).
I'm looking forward to the weekend and being able to celebrate my new job with some friends in cologne. I think that i still need it to sink in that i've actually got a proper job and will be staying here!!
Friday, January 2, 2009
I've rarely felt that the new year, brought new change. Instead it just seems to be a continuation of the same crap and issues that i've handled for the past 365 days. 2008 was not easy - and when i think about the year that's been i really have to think "oh wow... what happened there?!". I just want 2009 to be better.I always try to look at the new year in a positive way to make change but this year all i see ahead of me is a struggle - a struggle with everything. Dont get me wrong i'm looking forward to this challenge and what i can make of it - but on the other hand i know what i face ahead - and i realise how truly scary it is.
New Years Eve was spent in Egham with some German students that i had the pleasure of knowing at Holloway and although feeling rather old, i had a lovely time. I played the nurse when a friend of mine became ill (and was quite proud of myself for it). I was home by 1.30am and despite the amount of police presence it was a quiet night.
Apart from that, today is my last day in the UK and once again i feel like i'm wasting it. I was meant to see a friend of mine but it didnt happen so i've got 5 hours to spare... and i'm hoping that i might get to see my mum for a bit. The worst thing about all of this is that i havent spent a lot of time with my parents this week. I get more and more frustrated with things. They werent too happy with what the doctor said (see below...) and i just dont feel like i'm doing anything right at the moment. The appeal of returning home is something i'm very much looking forward to.
So the doctors - as many of you know i have asthma and lately whenever i've been home i've suffered from bad asthma attacks due to our dog. I went to the doctor on Monday because i couldnt breathe and my inhalers didnt work and she said in no uncertain terms that i have to stay away from dogs for my health. My lung capacity decreased to 50% and i needed to increase it otherwise there'd be trouble. So i've tried the steriods they gave me, i've tried taking the inhalers 6 times a day and apart from feeling hungry, its done nothing. I feel so bad for Sophie (my dog) - its not her fault but i feel like i'm almost saying to my parents "you want me here, the dog has to go"... which is wrong - i'm here for 2 weeks a year, sophie's here for every day. I feel so bad that i have this allergy and that i do feel so crap that i just dont know what to do about it anymore. The doctors cant do anything except pump me full of antibiotics (which are rather expensive i might add...).
So what else?... Seeing as i've borrowed most things from facebook - here's another.
1) How did you begin 2008?
In Egham with some friends.
2) What was your status on Valentine's Day?
In Berlin doing holocaust research.
3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Yeah, i graduated RHUL in July.
4) How did you earn your money?
I started a job at Mazda in June.
5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
I must have... a year doesnt go by without visiting the place!
6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Yeah, mostly at the ports.... but in Germany around the Euro-cup and in the UK when i was driving around Staines.
7) Where did you go on vacation?
Austria - Stubaital.
8) Did you buy anything over £1000?
My flat deposit.
9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Yeah, several actually! Kinda worrying that most of my friends are now either married or have children!
10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Two people, very close to me.
12) Did you move anywhere?
Back to Cologne.
14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
Newton Faulkner in September, Death Cab for Cutie in July and i'm sure there were some others!
15) Are you registered to vote?
Yes.
16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
I never watch it.
17) Where do you live now?
Cologne
18) Describe your birthday?
I ran a half marathon and got a personal best....
19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2008?
Go back to Germany.
20) What has been your favourite moment?
Getting the job/graduating.
21) What's something you learned about yourself?
Inner Strength
22) Any new additions to your family?
A couple of second cousins.
23.) What was your worst month?
June.
24.) What music will you remember 2008 by?
Snow Patrol or Britney.
25) Who has been your best drinking buddy?
Its changed this year with the move to DE.
26) Made new friends?
Yeah, lots in Germany.
27) New best friend?
None.
28) Favorite Night out?
Probably one in Cologne.
29) What do you look forward to most about 2009?
Jobs and family.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
What do you think you are... put your top two as your subject and find out what ethnicity you really are!...
British
[x] You drink a lot of tea.
[x] You know what a brolly is.
[ ] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[ ] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[x] You use the word "bugger"or the phrase "bloody hell."
[x] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[x] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[ ] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[x] Its football.. not soccer.
Total = 6
Australian
[x] You wear flip flops all year.
[ ] You call flipflops thongs not flip flops.
[x] You love a backyard barbie.
[x] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[x] You love the beach.
[x] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[x] You're a sports fanatic.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You're a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an australian something (thongs, shirt, phone, sock, etc.)
Total = 6
Italian
[ ] The Sopranos is a great show.
[ ] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[x] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[x] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[x] You know Italian songs.
[ ] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[ ] You speak some italian.
[x] You are under 5'10''.
[x] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world.
[x] You talk with your hands.
Total = 6
Spanish
[ ] You say member instead of Remember.
[ ] You speak spanish or some.
[ ] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe LiKe ThIs On YoUr CoMpUtEr
[ ] You are dark skinned.
[ ] You know what a Puta is.
[x] You talk fast occasionally.
[ ] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[ ] You know what platanos are.
Total = 1
Russian
[ ] You say villian as: Vee-lon
[x] you have more than one vodka bottle in your house
[ ] you know the difference between channel 1 and rtvi
[x] You know of somebody named natasha.
[x] You dont get cold easily.
[ ] You get into contests all the time.
[x] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
[ ] You eat sushi more than once a week
[ ] You love listening to techno
Total = 4
Polish
[x] Your parents let you drink
[ ] You know what a pizda is
[ ] You have Pierogi at least once a week
[ ] People always ask to see your "kielbasa" checking if your Polish
[ ] People randomly call you their best friend
[ ] You have made/know what pisanki are
[ ]You laughed when Poland beat the USA in the 2002 world cup
total = 1
Irish
[ ] You think beer is the best.
[x]You have a bad temper.
[x] Your name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a y, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[x] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[x] You have been to a st. pattys day party.
[x] You have a family member from Ireland.
[x] You have blonde hair.
[x] You have/had freckles.
[x] Your family get togethers always include drinking.
Total = 9
African American
[ ] You say nigga/nukka casually.
[ ] You have nappy hair.
[ ] You like rap.
[ ] You know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] YOU LIKE CHICKEN.
[ ] You like watermelon.
[ ] You can ‘sing’ gospel.
[ ] You smoke newports
Total = 0
Asian
[ ] You have slanty/small eyes.
[ ] you like rice a lot.
[ ] You are good at math.
[ ] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from asia.
[x] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you're chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.
Total = 1
German
[x] You like bread.
[x] You think American Chocolate is good.
[x] You Speak some German.
[x] You know what Schnitzel is.
[x] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[ ] You went to Pre-school.
[x] You're over 5'4".
Total = 6
Canadian
[ ] You like to ride 4 wheelers
[ ] You love beer.
[ ] You say eh.
[ ] You know what poutine is.
[x] You speak some french.
[ ] You love Tim Horton's.
[ ] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[ ] You watch degrassi.
Total = 1
French
[ ] You like french toast
[x] You love wine
[x] You speak a little or are fluent in french
[ ] You have eaten a snail.
[ ] You like fashion.
[x] You have been to France.
[x] You are either a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew.
Total = 4
American
[ ] You hate foriegners.
[ ] You hate non - Christians.
[ ] You've been to more then 5 states
[ ] You're lazy.
[ ] You are not cultured.
[ ] You hate abortion
[ ] But love the death penalty.
[ ] You don't read.
[ ] You shop at walmart.
total= 0
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